To Never Slip Away From Love
by LovesJustOverTheRainbowx3
Summary: Olivia refuses to let Alex leave her life forever without letting her know how she feels.


*I do not own these characters, Dick Wolf does unfortunately.*

--- Okay, so this story continues from when Alex was sent away into the witness protection program [in the actual show]. I've usually ignored that fact whenever I've written a story about Cabbot and Benson, but this idea went perfectly with it. It's probably not possible for this to happen in a real life, but hey, its fan _fiction_, right? ---

Olivia watched as the black truck drove away. She looked at the ground, holding back tears, and trying to hide her feelings for Alex from Elliot, who stood next to her.

"Are you okay, Olivia?" Stabler asked.

She nodded her head, holding back her tears. "I'll be fine, somehow. I'm strong, Elliot."

"No one's always strong with loss," he replied, "I'm going home. Do you want me to give you a ride?"

"No, I'm okay. I might go somewhere to grab a quick bite to eat first."

Okay, so, maybe she lied. Instead, Olivia got her car, stepped on the gas, and followed that damn black truck. She didn't care if she had to drive all the way to Mexico; she was going to follow her love to the end of the world if she had to. She needed to tell Alex how she felt about her, and she needed to do it now.

She followed the truck so it wouldn't be obvious. If there was traffic, for example, she'd become passive, leaving her car six cars behind the truck. She knew what to do to be sneaky. She was a cop, for Christ sakes.

When the truck stopped at a nearly abandoned area, she was the only other car driving, so, in order to avoid attention, she drove onto the next street over. She waited at the corner until I saw the truck pass me, knowing it'd be okay to turn around and see her.

She pulled up to the house and read the mailbox with Alex's new name on it.

"Danielle Penn," she whispered. "It's not the name I grew to love."

She rang the doorbell, waiting as a few moments of awkwardness passed, as if Alex were hesitant of having a visitor so soon. Alex pulled back the shades, trying to make out who it was, and slowly came to the door in two piece pajamas.

"Olivia, what are you doing here?" Alex asked, terrified. "Don't you have work tomorrow?"

"No, I do not. Cragen gave me a day off because of your 'death.' I wanted to come down and see you, but I see you're _so_ excited to see me, aren't you?"

Alex tilted her head in agitation. "Of course I am. I just don't need anyone following you here, and whatnot."

Olivia put her finger over Alex's mouth. "Shh…"

"Why are you here, Olivia?" she asked, pushing her finger away.

"I couldn't let you walk away from me forever without telling you how I feel."

"How you feel about what?"

"The way I feel about you, Alex. I loved the way you walk into the office every morning, demanding answers, walking into the room with your heels clicking to the floor and your eyes on the prize. I love the way you carry yourself, Alex. I love the way, even though everyone says you're an ice queen, I see you look at me and it's as if all the ice melts or shatters. I've always wanted to be able to hold you, and just watch the ice in your blue eyes melt into mine. Alex, I'm in love with you. I have been ever since the first time I saw you fighting in the courtroom. There's always been something about you."

Not having much to say, Alex swallowed a lump in her throat, and simply said, "come in, Olivia. Let's sit down with some coffee, or something."

Olivia walked into Alex's new home, afraid she might've made the situation more awkward than she intended to. She almost regretted saying anything, and wanted to turn around and go home, but she chanced walking into "Danielle's" new home anyway.

Alex put some coffee in the coffee maker and sat with Olivia as they waited for it to be done. Alex sat on a loveseat while Olivia sat on a couch opposite of her. Alex looked at Olivia with curiosity.

"In love… with me, Olivia?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"Nobody else," she replied.

"Are you even a lesbian?"

"I don't know. You're the first woman I've ever felt this way for."

"Then how do you know it's real?"

"Anyone can tell when something feels real. You just feel it in the core of your heart, you know? Anything I've ever felt for a man, I feel for you now, so I don't know how it wouldn't be true."

"I guess you've answered my own questions as well, detective."

Alex walked over to the window, and pulled over the shades to look outside at the dark, stormy night. Rain started to pour. She felt the tears come to her eyes, but why? She just found out the love of her life felt just the same as she has all of this time.

"Alex, are you crying?" Olivia asked, afraid to touch her. "Have I done something wrong by coming here?"

"No, you've done something right," she said, "more than you know it, 'Liv. To think I could've died tonight without telling you how I really felt…"

Olivia walked over to Alex, holding her from her waist, positing her forehead on Alex's shoulder blade. She felt tears in her eyes as she listened to her lover cry.

"You stood over me, Olivia, pressuring my shoulder's wound to make me stop bleeding, and all I wanted was a damn kiss before I slipped away! I looked into your eyes, feeling like it was my last moment alive; or hell, maybe I was already dead, and I never took that chance! I had the strength to lay on the ground, with a bullet pierced into my flesh, but I didn't have the damn courage to tell you how I felt?! Yet, here you are, just to have one night to tell me all of this?!"

"Honey, it's okay," Olivia whispered, "we're here together now."

"And what if this moment never came to be?" she asked, with a strained, cold look in her eyes. "Why do you want me anyway? You risked your job to come and see me, just to tell me all of this, while I didn't even take the chance when my life was at stake! I'm not what you want, Olivia. I'm sorry if I disappointed you, considering you came all the way here, expecting a better response."

"Even if you told me you didn't feel the same way, I would still be willing to risk everything to do anything and everything for you. I'm supposed to feel the need to tell you how I feel. What if being with you never came to be? What if we both never said anything, and we sat around our whole lives, wondering what it'd be like if one of us said something? I don't mind if that person is me, Alex. You've already had your life on the line; I don't blame you if you didn't want to put your heart on the line either."

Alex turned around to face Olivia, and fell into her embrace in tears.

"I'm sorry, Olivia," she said, "I'm sorry I was so foolish and almost slipped away from you forever!"

"Baby, don't cry. You survived because it was God's way of giving you a second chance, giving us a second chance, to let us be able to be together."


End file.
